


Oh Alpha, My Alpha

by allhalethekings



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drunken Texts, M/M, TW Crack, drunk!Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 17:25:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1696397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allhalethekings/pseuds/allhalethekings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From: Stiles<br/>Sent: 1:07am<br/>Zomg Derk SOMEONES HITTGIN ON MEEEEEE<br/>DREK WHT DO I DOOOOO<br/>DON’T WORYH I TLD HIMN MY ALPHA WILL RIP HIS THRAT OUT…WITH HIS TEEF.</p><p>To: Stiles<br/>Sent: 1:10am<br/>…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh Alpha, My Alpha

**Author's Note:**

> SO. I was going through the pictures on my phone and saw one that immediately hit me with plot bunnies. 
> 
> Prompt: I don’t understand people who think drunk texts are annoying. I think drunk texts are so cute. Just think of it this way, you’re who that person is thinking of when their brain isn’t even functioning properly, you’re who that person is thinking of when they can’t even form coherent sentences. You’re on that person’s mind when they have the motor skills of an infant, that’s pretty fucking awesome if you ask me.

**From: Stiles  
** **Sent: 11:57pm**  
 _Dereeeekkkkkkkkkkkk  
_ _Derekkkkkk don’t ignore meeeeeeeee  
_ _I shall not be ignoreddddddd  
_ _Come to the zooooo Drekkkkk  
_ _Wiat I mean jungle_  

 **To: Stiles  
** **Sent: 12:01am**  
 _Stiles, why the hell are you drunk texting me?_  

 **From: Stiles  
** **Sent: 12:43am**  
 _Drekkkk I saw denni  
_ _Derrrrk hes totaly hitingf on isac  
_ _Isacs scard, im going to recxuse him  
_ _Don’t wory I will defsnd yr betas honors_  

 **To: Stiles  
** **Sent: 12:46am**  
 _For fuck’s sake, Stiles.  
_ _Let. Me. Sleep.  
_ _Go find Scott and go home._  

**From: Stiles**  
 **Sent: 1:04am**  
 _Scots gong cray w ally dancdsging_

**From: Stiles  
** **Sent: 1:07am**  
 _Zomg Derk SOMEONES HITTGIN ON MEEEEEE  
_ _DREK WHT DO I DOOOOO  
_ _DON’T WORYH I TLD HIMN MY ALPHA WILL RIP HIS THRAT OUT…WITH HIS TEEF._  

**To: Stiles**  
 **Sent: 1:10am**  
 _…_

**To: Scott**  
 **Sent: 1:11am**  
 _Scott, stop grinding with Allison and take your best friend home.  
_ _Also, make him stop drunk texting me._

-

 **From: Stiles  
** **Sent: 10:32am**  
 _Um…so about those texts…_  

-

 **From: Stiles  
** **Sent: 12:04am**  
 _OH ALPHA MY ALPHA_  

 **From: Stiles  
** **Sent: 12:06am**  
 _WHAT YONDAR THRUGH DE  WINDOR BREAKS  
_ _IM THE EAST AND UR MY SUN_  

 **To: Scott  
** **Sent: 12:08am**  
 _Scott, he’s texting me again.  
_ _Make. Him. Stop._    
 _Or I'm WILL make you miserable next training session._

**From: Stiles**  
 **Sent: 12:24am**  
 _Derk stop tatting on me_  
 _I men tatling  
_ _T a t t l i n g*_

**To: Stiles**  
 **Sent: 12:26am**  
 _Stiles, if you don’t stop texting me, I will bite your fingers off  
And then claw through your damn phone._

**From: Stiles  
** **Sent: 12:30am**  
 _OooOoohhh tlk dirtyaaa to meeee  
_ _Id liek to bitewq sumthn of yrs ;)_  

-

**From: Stiles**  
 **Sent: 9:45am**  
 _Since I burnt your apology cupcakes last time, will bacon work this time?_

-

**From: Stiles**  
 **Sent: 12:12am**  
 _EDERK I MISSZ UR SCRY BROWS_  
 _AD UR STYBBKE  
_ _STUBBLE_

**From: Stiles**  
 **Sent: 12:33am**  
 _UR RED EYES R RED HAWT_  
 _THEY LIGT A SPECHUL FIRE INSUDE MEEE  
_ _DERK DYU THINKKSA I CAN SRT FIRE TO THE RIAN LKE ADELLLLEEEE_

**From: Stiles**  
 **Sent: 1:45am**  
 _Drek I mde a new frned tnigt_  
 _His names jack daniels_  
 _He tastes delishous  
_ _Yummmyyy in sitles tumyyy_

**From: Scott  
** **Sent: 1:48am**  
 _Crap, sorry Derek, just noticed him sneaking around us to drunk text you again.  
_ _Dw took it away from him now._  

-

 **From: Stiles  
** **Sent: 10:03am**  
 _Um..._  

-

**From: Stiles**  
 **Sent: 1:05am**  
 _Did yu kno peole ship batman and robyn?_  
 _Drek, I’ll be yur royn any day ;)  
_ _I taotally ship us, drek. You shud tooooo_

**From: Stiles**  
 **Sent: 1:07am**  
 _Omgd we shud buy a ship togeter_  
 _And call it the littl red ridng wolf ;)  
_ _HAHAHGAHAF GET IT???????_

**From: Stiles**  
 **Sent: 1:11am**  
 _OMGAWD DERK THERS A SMKING HAWT DDE ERE IN A LETHER JCAKT LIEKT YURS._  
 _HE TSOTES LOOKS LIEKES YU BTS I KNW ITS NOT YU BC URS BENG AN OLDD MAEN AT HOMR.  
_ _DUNT B MSD BUT SDKNGADGJNBD IM GONTG TO BOENR HIM._

**From: Scott**  
 **Sent: 1:20am**  
 _Derek, you heard from Stiles?  
_ _He was here a minute ago but he’s disappeared._

**From: Scott**  
 **Sent: 1:34am**  
 _Derek, I’m worried!!!! Has he texted you anthing?_  
 _I cant find him and Isac’s making out with Danny so he won’t help me look._  
 _Derek, I’m worried.  
_ _Get off your lazy ass and come help me look for him!_

- 

**From: Scott**  
 **Sent: 10:20am**  
 _OH MY GOD. DEREK._  
 _STOP HIM FROM TEXTING ME NAKED PICTURES OF YOU TWO.  
_ _MY EYES ARE BURNING YOU ASSHOLE._

**From: Scott**  
 **Sent: 10:24am**  
 _DEREK MAKE HIM STOP.  
_ _THIS IS CAUSING ME PHYSICAL PAIN._

**From: Scott**  
 **Sent: 10:26am**  
 _STOP SMIRKING AT THE CAMERA YOU DICK._

_-_

 

Come be my friend on tumblr! Find me here: [HTlikeawolf](http://www.allhalethekings.tumblr.com)


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